as of right now...

Today I

-took a walk down to the water. To think. To contemplate the new year.  (Because...excuse my language but 2010 sucked ass for me. One of the hardest years I can remember. Emotionally. Physically. Financially.)

-sat on a bench, under a tree, and ate a sandwich while I watched the clouds roll by (quiet time really is the best sometimes)

- played with the macro setting on my point and shoot (I've really been missing my Rebel lately and should just get another one...)

 
- cooked dinner while listening to the Mumford and Sons album I got for Christmas

- thought a LOT about this blog post that I found via pacingthepanicroom.blogspot.com  (Already made a note to check in so I can contribute next year)

-set  goals for 2011

- started "Operation Un-Clutter My Life" today starting with my dresser (feels so good to purge and organize)

- planned a nice breakfast (with mimosas ) for tomorrow morning for just Nate and I

- found some beauty in a simple telephone pole (I think it would have lots of stories to tell)

I am so ready for the 2011 year. Hoping it's not as rough as last year. Fingers crossed:)

May's Hike: Point Lobos State Reserve

I have a confession. I've lived in Monterey for 16 years and have never stepped foot in the Point Lobos State Reserve until today. And I live 15 minutes from this amazing place. I think this is really sad. I guess because when you drive by it it's so unassuming looking. Small, dark with trees. And so I didn't realize I was missing anything --boy was I wrong.

We picked this as our May hike (from the list--#37 go on one hike a month) because I casually mentioned to Nate that I had never been to Point Lobos. Something you think would have come up on our many jaunts down to Big Sur. It hadn't! We decided to just do one side of the park for this trip. The South side because of the work being done on the North side to some of the trails. I'd rather come back at some other point to experience all the North side has to offer:)

I was blown away by the views. The hike was not too strenuous but enough to get me slightly out of breath (we move pretty fast). I just can't believe that I've missed all this scenery for 16 years. And that I haven't gone here with other people like friends or family. Nate joked with me that it's the same coast line that I see every time I go to Big Sur but ...it's different to me.  It was amazing. A place I can't wait to explore more of...

If you find yourself in this area you HAVE to go. It's totally worth your time:)

jen

The List: 39 before 40

This year's list. Lots of travel on this one...we'll see if the gas prices hold out;)

1. take Alex to a musical in SF

2. take a photo everyday

3. learn to make my own tortillas

4. eat at Kabuto Sushi in SF

5. ride a cable car in SF

6. have a midnight picnic under the stars

7. throw an 80's party

8. hike Land's End trail in SF

9. watch a roller derby game

10. camp at least 2 times this year

11. make it to Arizona for my Marching Band reunion in August

12. take a cruise

13. hike Half Dome in Yosemite

14. purchase at least 3 more letters (for wall)

15. take a surfing lesson

16. officially change my name (it's only been four years since our wedding...)

17. learn how to bake (I can cook but baking has always been hard for me...too exact of measurements I think)

18. grow vegetables in back yard

19. go back to college

20. continue weight loss

21. email someone each week

22. blog at least 2-3 times a week

23. go wine tasting on River Road

24. have a chocolate malt at Mel's in SF

25. attend Margarita & Avocado Festival in Morro Bay

26. attend the SF Pillow Fight 2010

27. organize all my photos (I have piles and piles of them)

28.  go on a date with Nate like I would have in high school --complete with necking in the car;)

29.  read 75 books--at least 20 of them from the list

30.  rewatch all my favorite Cary Grant films                                                                    

31. take Alex up to SF Pride 2009 (at her request)

32. go on a road trip with no pre-determined destination

33. clean and purge my house of the un-needed

34. find the fun and joy in scrapbooking again

35. make a menu each week and stick to it

36. open a savings account for my daughter

37. Go on one hike each month

38. eat breakfast at Carmel Belle in Carmel-by-the-sea

39. finish the unfinished

Looks to be a fun year;)

jen

the countdown

 Friday (May 1st) was my birthday and as a couple of you know I made a list of 38 thingsI wanted to do in the year before I turned 39. Sadly I finished only about half of the list. For the most part it was economical or timing issues that kept me from finishing them all. With the economy increasing the price of everything and some huge car repairs that Nate and I weren't expecting and just crazy gas prices... I just didn't have the means to get a few items done.  So let's see how I did:

1. save and buy a new lens for my camera--I did not get around to this. I went back and forth between a new lens and a new camera body and I have almost enough for one of them but it didn't get purchased within my year time limit. I still haven't made up my mind yet anyway...

2. take a photoshop class--sadly not done yet. Never found the time. Lousy excuse huh! I also have completely stopped scrapbooking, which was the reason for the class so I am still up in the air about what I'll be doing about this one too

3. plan and throw an Oktoberfest party--wow...not looking so good for these first few items. I didn't have one because we didn't have a free weekend to have one during September or October., I am still hoping to have one this year

4. go to Ruby Sky with Nate-- not yet:(

5. have a scrapbooking party with Alex and her friends
6. have camp-out sleepover that Alex and I have been talking about for the past year--in my defense with these two--I wasn't expecting my daughter to suddenly grow up within a month of writing these two down. She won't even go to the movies with me anymore. Shopping is about all she'll let me be involved with (I have the money of course). So any sort of sleepover was out of the question and will be from this point on.

7. expand my music collection by one  new artist a month--woohoo! One I actually did:) The list: Tilly & the Wall, Kings of Leon, The Bird & the Bee, Bon Iver, Coconut Records, The Submarines, Lights, The Raveonettes,Built to Spill, Peter Yorn, Frightened Rabbit, Imogen Heap, Vampire Weekend  just to name a few!

8. take  sewing class --um yeah...not yet. Although my daughter has deemed this a class we can take together

9. walk across the Golden Gate Bridge--I did this one!! Very cool. We saw dolphins and sea lions frolicking.I would recommend ear plugs though. It gets loud with all the cars...

10. work on my relationship with my sister --I'm gonna say I did this one. I did spend more time on the phone with her this year and when I  was in Arizona we got good time together. It's hard to work on things so far from each other. But I'm keeping at it.

11. make curtains for office and kitchen--see number 8 for reason this one is not done. Hopefully soon. Or at least I hope to get curtains for them.

12. take one romantic overnight trip with Nate-- Big Sur for our anniversary:)

13. read 40 books-- 63 were actually read. My friends on goodreads can count if they really want to:)

14. take yoga classes-- I took two classes with mixed thoughts about yoga.I'm going to take a few more before I decide if I like it or not.

15. visit Berkeley Bowl Marketplace--never made it. A few of my trips were put off when the gas prices went though the roof last summer. I barely made the Big Sur parts of this list because of the fire. Last year was a rough one...

16. go on a drive-in date with Nate-- had this planned for last month and then found out the drive- in was closed and have not had a free weekend to find another drive in and plan the trip.This year for sure

17. see the Dahlia's in Golden Gate park--was one of the trips that were put off when the gas prices reached almost $5.00 a gallon here last summer. Hoping they will stay low this year so I can finally get there.

18. allow more pictures to be taken of myself--I did allow more pictures of myself. I think I took more this year than the past couple of years. See photo above:)

19. volunteer at a local animal rescue-- put in application but haven't started yet.

20. take a girl's only road trip with Alex--I can list off many factors about why this didn't happen. Gas prices. Teen not wanting to spend this much time with mom. 

21. brew a batch of beer with Nate-- first task I finished. And it was a favorite among many of our beer drinking friends.

22. workout more (my goal is 2-3 times a week)--I exceed this by working out 5 times a week and losing 34 pounds in the process. Keeping this my same goal this year

23. hike to McWay Falls in Big Sur (the trail was closed when we tried to go last week)-- DONE! see photo

24. have a bonfire on the beach--just didn't work out even though it was planned a few times

25. learn to knit (better)--nope. Didn't even pick up the needles

26. get all the different prints I've bought up in frames and on the wall-- the frames are bought and they are ready to be done but just didn't get it done in time for this list

27. visit Portland, Oregon--not even close...

28. go thrifting in San Fransisco--took Alex for her birthday and then went one day with Nate:)

29. start  family movie night -- I did this one for a while but it gets back to the teen that doesn't want to spend her nights hanging with her parents. But we tried to get together at least once a week so I'm going to count this one. It just wasn't on a set night. 

30. cook one new thing every week ( I have SO many recipes)--definitely--but i don't think anyone doubted this one:)

31. go to a fondue restaurant--YES! It was fun:) but expensive. Alex would like to go next time;)

32. re-establish date night--not done. 

33. camp with Nate at Kirk Creek-- definitely done and it was a blast. I would recommend anyone to this campground. just beautiful!

34. ride my bike to work as much as I can--hahahaha. Not done even once which is really sad since I work less than 2 miles from work. 

35. take a bellydancing class--I did take a class. I didn't keep going only because I already spend $50 a month for the gym and this would be almost another $50.00 a month for 4 classes. it was fun though and much harder than it looks...

36. re-learn French-- I have a CD I listen to in the car. It hasn't helped much but I have done it and am working on it slowly.

37. create more artwork each week-- hahahah. I almost completely stopped scrapbooking so...this one was definitely not accomplished.

38. visit Timeless Treasures in San Fransisco--accomplished and have 8 different size letter towards my monogram wall I want to have:)

So as you can see I did very poorly on the list. I haven't even finished my 39 things list for this year too. I am a slacker. Seriously. But I hope to have the new list up this week. One of my goals on the new list is to blog 3 times a week .  Here is the first for this week:) I will also have a post about the unexpected things I did last year that were not on the list! that's on tap for my next post :)

jen

100 things I love (in no particular order)

inspired by this blog who was inspired by this blog which was inspired by this blog (ironically one of my favorites)

1. thunderstorms
2. sweet potatoes
3. thrifting
4. goat cheese
5. Portland, Oregon
6. Jon Stewart
7. cooking
8. taking photos
9. the french language
10. a good book
11. flea markets
12. antiques
13. avocados
14. reading
15. dinner parties
16. dark chocolate
17. bagels with cream cheese and avocado
18.  my daughter’s laugh
19. flannel sheets
20. typewriters
21. knee high socks
22. boots
23. fiestaware china
24. the color turquoise
25. mixed CD's
26. San Francisco
27. beer
28. nights out with friends
29. that first sip of coffee
30  etsy
31. Frightened Rabbit
32. dahlias
33. the color green
34. walks along the beach
35.  sunsets
36.  garage sales
37. old VW bugs
38. honey crisp apples
39. strawberries
40. runuculas
41. feta cheese
42. freshly fallen snow
43. crisp fall weather
44. old quilts
45. kalamata olives
46. freshly baked bread
47. this Cyndi Lauper song
48. scrapbooking
49. Belgian beer
50. Big Sur
51. lemon drops
52. empty notebooks just waiting to be written in
53. facebook
54. Clive Owen
55. new pens
56. white wine
57. red wine
58. sleeping in
59. The Office
60. owls and birds
61. Christmas morning
62  old houses with wrap around porches
63. New Year’s Eve
64. bridges
65. IKEA
66. her photography
67. brightly colored tights
68. old movies starring Cary Grant
69. Jeremy Piven on Entourage
70. paper lanterns
71. Converse tennis shoes
72. flip flops
73. slumber parties
74. my IPod
75. 80’s music
76. picnics
77. letterpress
78. flickr
79. emails from my friend Jay
80. homemade ice cream
81. fingerless gloves
82. Greek food
83. asparagus
89. going out for breakfast
90. waterfalls
91. making lists
92. farmers markets
93. butternut squash
94. tamales
95. starfish
96. polaroid cameras
97. babies
98. the color yellow
99. bowls
100. chips and salsa

right now...

I am feeling better. MUCH better.

I am working on my December Daily book

I am watching Wanted

I am drinking Orange-Pineapple juice

I am listening to the giggles of Alex and her friend Emme as they talk in Alex's room

life is good :)

jen

a little comparison...

When people tell me that my daughter and I look alike I don't really believe them. Maybe cause right  now we look so different. I see similarities in photos like these though. The common death stare.The obvious attitude. We have similar features...enough to know we are related.  For me the similarities end there though. Whereas I tried to hide myself in plain clothes she likes to wear the brightest ones she can find. My obvious insecurity in photos  like these compared to her confidence.  My unruly hair with a mind of it's own compared to hers that seems to lie just right. In these two photos we are the same age give or take a month or so. I had just turned 14 and she will be 14 in weeks. It's crazy to me that we are the same age in these photos.  Kids these days look so much more grown up.

Anyways...there was no real point to this post. I got some photos from a friend a few weeks ago and I just  realized that in some of them, I am the same age as my daughter and it's been weird to see the differences and the similarities.

jen

"I'm looking for something bigger. I'm looking for a dare to be great situation."

I have, over the past few days totally immersed myself in my past. Music, pictures, memories.

If you're a product of the 80's here is a good live music stream to take you right back to those awkward days. (click on the blue button)

I feel that this reunion  has me spiraling down towards a mid-life crisis of sorts. Not one where I want to buy a shiny red sports car, leave my husband and date way too young men. But one that has me missing high school and being a teenager. Or at least missing what I could have made my high school experience had I been as comfortable with myself as I am now. And I suppose this is something that comes with life experience. I'm just realizing through conversations with Jay and such that I really let my shyness and fear of what others thought of me shape my high school experience.

A big part of me is regretting missed opportunities.

But I'm also realizing that I was so much drama when I was in high school. 

So

freaking

much

drama.

I was reading a yearbook entry , written by me best friend Lorena, and she makes reference to my fights every week with Dave. And another from my friend Martha about my drama with Dave too. The funny thing is I don't really remember fighting with him. Except the one fight , the one that woke me up, the one when he threw me into the wall .  The one that had me reclaiming my life back from where it was headed. And wishing I had listened to my parents. Who told me he was no good for me. That I was wasting my time with him. I guess it all comes down to the fact that these are the experiences that shape us and make us who we are. Reading these entries though makes me sad, that I made my friendships so much about the boyfriend drama. And not about us.

So this is where my head has been for the past few days. Immersed in memories that I had forgotten about. I had posts planned for this week. To get me back into blogging again. But they are on hold for the time being. Until I make peace with my former teenage self.

jen

the quote is from Say Anything. I love that movie:)

of a shyness that is criminally vulgar...

I originally started out today with a completely different subject to write about but I have hijacked my own post to post about something completely different.

This will be the first of a couple of nostalgic entries I will be doing over the next few months. In just 68 short days I will be back in Arizona for my 20 year high school reunion. I don't even feel old enough to have been out of high school for 20 years but apparently I have.

I was lucky enough in high school to be one of those people that knew everyone. I didn't have a "group" I exclusively hung out with. I knew lots of people and was friendly with everyone. I was better known later on in high school because of the guy I was dating. For me though i just never felt like I fit in with any one group in particular. In high school this caused me some stress but looking back now I realize what a blessing it was.  I made some really awesome friends I wouldn't have if I'd been limited in my group. Friends that over the years, even though I have lost contact with, still remain close to my heart.

Jay (pictured above) is one of those friends. Senior year wouldn't meant anything to me if I hadn't known Jay. He got me through a particularly hard class by just being in the class with me. For some reason I always think it was an Economics class but it may have been a history class. The teacher always did this impression of Nixon that was hilarious( in a "our teacher is a dork" way). There is so much of that class I've blocked out. Anyway, he was the only reason I even made it to that class everyday. He is one of the coolest people I know. It was funny though because we didn't really become friends until Senior year even though we were in Marching Band together. He was on the drumline. That alone made him cool. At my school the cool guys were the jocks or the drumline. (I can probably still tell you the names of most of the guys in the drumline  to this day.. .) What I remember about Jay is that I always loved watching him play the drums. He doesn't know this but he was the guy I watched the most during our practices.  I wanted so badly to be his friend but I was shy in high school. Unsure of myself. Afraid of guys.  He always seemed too cool for someone like me to be friends with (you know those types right...the one's that are just a step higher on the coolness meter than most) He was never your typical teenage guy. Then I started dating one of the guys on the drumline. David. The one I became known for dating. ..he's a story for another time though.  Through him I met Jay:) So one good thing came of that relationship.

I wish I had let Jay know back then how important he was to me. We stayed in touch after high school. He graduated a semester early and went off to California for school. Iwent to visit him once. He moved back eventually. I went to see him play drums on a couple of occasions. He and his brother had a band for a while. The picture above was taken on my 21st birthday after we went to see his band play at Chuy's in Tempe. I believe it is one of the  only photos in existence of us together.  When I made the decision to move to California I didn't know how to contact him so I left and we haven't had contact since.

Until yesterday. In my anticipation for this reunion I've started looking up old friends. Those that haven't already hunted me down. It was relatively easy to track him down.  Just a few moments on the internet and an email or two. And it's like we didn't have a 16 year break. I love the internet. I'm hoping (beyond hope)that he will be able to make it out to Arizona for the reunion. Wouldn't be the same without him.  The number of people I really want to see and spend time talking to is very small and he's definitely on that list.

I leave you with this song. I forgot until yesterday that it was Jay that turned me on to this band. It's been years since I've listened to them. Thanks for reminder Jay;)

jen

all about me

1. Jennifer Connelly 3, 2. Sushi | Culinária, 3. Coronado High School Arizona, 4. Green on Green, 5. Clive Owen, 6. Lemon Drop Martini, 7. Onyar River Reflections, 8. Simple pleasure - brownies, 9. A Pea Soup, 10. IMG_8922, 11. ...Sometime you need an authentic feeling ..., 12. big sur4 Created with fd's Flickr Toys.

Saw this on Nicole's and Tina's blog and loved the idea.

How it works:
1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Pick an image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd's mosaic maker.

The Questions:
1. What is your first name? Jennifer
2. What is your favorite food? Sushi
3. What high school did you go to? Coronado High School
4. What is your favorite color? Green
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Clive Owen
6. Favorite drink? lemon drops
7. Dream vacation? Spain
8. Favorite dessert? Brownies
9. What you want to be when you grow up? HER
10. What do you love most in life? my family
11. One Word to describe you. Authentic
12. Your flickr name. I got nothing when I entered my name so I just put a picture of me there:)

Have a good 4th !

jen